Bill Fezza and the alcohol epidemic

Bill Frezza wrote an article with a provocative title in order to highlight the epidemic of alcohol abuse that has invaded college campuses.  He was fired for his trouble.I applaud him for his efforts to highlight a serious problem. In the late seventies I succeeded a colleague as night nurse on call at an urban college. She had held that residential position for many years and assured me that she rarely was disturbed by the students living in the dorm. I accepted the position at the same time that alcohol was allowed in the dorms. Prior to that students could go drink on campus or off campus at age 18. Needless to say, my tenure as night nurse on call was characterized by multiple emergencies every night as drunken students passed out, experienced alcohol poisoning , fell down, got into violent altercations, etc , etc. Clearly the age when alcohol was legal wasn’t the pivot. I am convinced that at fault is a lack of adult authority and limit setting. The kids are in charge. I am enraged on Mr Freeza's behalf that once again the children of this country prevail . The segment on CNN regarding his article about fraternities and drinking highlighted a response by a student as the reason for his firing. The student objected to his perspective citing sexism among other things. Really! I am so sick of political correctness! When are adults going to take back this country?

Will Ebola finally expose our failing health care system?

So Ebola has reached the shores of the United States.  Nothing like a dose of a deadly disease to shine light on  the multiple problems with health care system. Let's start at the top. Since the beginning of the outbreak of Ebola, the heads of the various Federal departments that oversee care of infectious diseases, like the CDC, the public health care system etc have reassured the American public that this country has the best health care system in the world and are more than well prepared to handle Ebola.   Okay. Then why did we witness so many problems with the identification and care of Mr. Duncan ?  The first response of course, was to blame the victim. He didn't check the correct box at airport. 

He did however, upon becoming symptomatic ,take himself to a local hospital in Dallas and was open about his place in origin. Yet he was turned away.

Does anyone know how many people he has had contact with since his entry to this country? Do we know who is handling this investigative aspect?

It is not heartening to realize that the first Ebola victim on U.S. soil did not make it. We could  move beyond questions of race and citizenship in that outcome except in this country quality health care is predicated on one's ability to pay for it.

But let us move on. Let's move on to the fact that the ostensible reason Mr. Duncan died is because there are no doses left of the experimental drugs that saved the two Americans who contracted Ebola while in West Africa.  Does that say anything about this country's level of preparedness?

Yesterday we learned that one of the sheriffs involved in Duncan's case has been quarantined and tested for Ebola.

Today we learned that one of the nurses who cared for Mr. Duncan has tested positive for Ebola. And so it begins. Now the head of the CDC blames another victim citing that the nurse's Ebola disease was caused by a breach of protocol. A national nurse's advocacy group retorts that 75% of nurses surveyed have no idea what the protocol for care of an Ebola patient is. Other nurses report they were given a hyperlink to access and study the protocol. More fortunate nurses mention that they were given a piece of paper to read.

This outbreak will test our health care system like none other. So far we are on our knees.

 

 

Trial in the Public Square

Okay this blog is gonna get me in trouble but I have to write it anyway. Right now the air waves are full of talking heads carrying on about NFL player Ray Rice. TMZ released a video of rice assaulting his wife in an elevator in an Atlantic City casino earlier this year.

I am not here to defend Ray Rice. Knocking his then fiancé ,now his wife out cold. He was arrested and charged. A grand jury was involved and his punishment was to attend a diversion program.  He was suspended for two games by the NFL.

Then the video emerged. All of a sudden Ray Rice was fired and suspended indefinitely from the NFL.  No one is complaining about this. The "carrying on" is about "when" did the NFL see the video. 

It feels like we've reverted to the times of the Salem witch trials.  Since when did the public get to order a witch hunt and public hanging? Justice belongs in the hands of the justice system. Why take away this guy' s livelihood?  You are in effect taking away his life.  Yes what he did is reprehensible .   But take away his contract and his means of supporting his family? Really?  I don't get it.  The public is demanding justice. So the NFL reacts. Who made them part of our justice system? The Baltimore Ravens reacts.  Who made them part of our justice system?  Is no one willing to say, "look he was arrested and justice was meted out.  It was his first offense. Let ' s see what happens."

Yes I hear everyone gasping and jumping up and down about this. But this knee jerk response to perceived public outrage can be a slippery slope. What behavior is next?

Helpless

 

I watch with horror as the events in Ferguson, Missouri unfold.  I will not pretend I know exactly what happened but I know as sure as I am a white middle class woman from the East that a white youngster jay walking or being a smart mouth would not have been shot dead. And if you differ I want to hear the details of those incidents that parallel the deaths of so many young black men in this country.

How many times can this happen in this country before we find a solution. I feel helpless. I like to take action . To DO something. But for the life of me I can't think what.

I live in New Jersey and can tell you that the standing comment as we drive on major highways like the NJ Turnpike or Garden State Parkway and see cops pulling someone over is," Oops driving while Black."  Years ago a study came out citing that the police in New Jersey were profiling. ya think! It continues.

I wonder if we need to look at what prompts someone to become a policeman. Is it a need for power and control? Is it suppressed rage? I don't know but I wonder if there is an intersect between the psychology of who chooses that career and their behavior on the job.

I worked in psychiatry for years. Patients sometimes got upset and were unpredictable. We didn't have guns.  We "talked" people down. Maybe police offers need to lose their guns and figure out how to deal with people in other ways.

I guess we are still giving lip service to community policing. To knowing the community you serve in intimate ways. And now thanks to " political correctness" it is harder to really know what a police officer may "really think" while patrolling a community like Ferguson Missouri.    

 I don't mean to disparage an entire group of police officers as most do a difficult and dangerous job remarkably well. We need a well trained group of law enforcement professionals to keep society running smoothly, and in fact to protect the store owners in Ferguson from a small group of looters doing damage to an already raw community. 

Answers have to come. In the meantime those of us who don't know what to do to help

 can do what we can to promote understanding and dialogue and opportunity in the communities where we live.

iPhone Parenting

 

 

Okay so what I am about to  talk about is probably no surprise to anyone. But a rant is in order.  Parents with children of all ages absorbed in their IPhones or IPads . I was in a restaurant enjoying a peaceful lunch when my attention was caught by the squealing and banging of a toddler. He was in a high chair and wanted more than something to eat to have his mother 's attention. His mother was absorbed on her IPad and responded by handing him a variety of different toys. The toys piqued his curiosity for a minute and then he would squeal and bang the toy on the table while staring intently at his mother. She never looked up. Her response was to reach into the diaper bag and produce another toy.  What's the message this young child is receiving?  You' re not important! I have better things to do! He finally reached the end of his frustration tolerance and began crying. To her credit(I guess) she shut the IPad and began shoveling his untouched food into his mouth. She wasn't happy and he wasn't happy.

 

Parents and other caregivers pushing strollers have been observed texting or talking away.  No chatter or singing, no interacting, no notice if the sun is in the kid's eyes or whether the child has fallen uncomfortably to the bottom of the stroller.

 

I especially like observing families out to dinner together.  The children of all ages are given some electronic device or another while the parent's text and check their IPhones.

Really? What happened to "quality time". ( not that I believe in such a thing).  Tons of research  underscores the importance of family time. Time when parents and children talk to each other, when problems are discussed , moods are assessed , plans and announcements are made.

 

So I'm really curious about how these children turn out .

 

What is political correctness supposed to do?

I don't even know how to approach this topic!  Not a day passes where you don 't 
hear a public someone apologizing for something they said that upset some group 
somewhere. Geez!
So our collective freedom of speech is under major attack. Why? Does demanding 
that folks in the public eye make sure they say the "right" thing help us 
understand them better or feel better about who they are?  People have opinions 
about other people. Always have and always will. Isn't it better to encourage 
discourse rather than repress it?   Do we really think that "political 
correctness" fixes what's underneath? I don't know about you but  I want to know 
what people really think.  And they have a right to their own opinion. That 
doesn't mean that you don't think before you speak. You don't call people names.  
You follow the rules and etiquette of public and private discourse.  
Beyond that, people are entitled to have opinions and to express them. The 
demands for public apologies are starting to feel like a page out of Puritan New 
England!   And are on-demand apologies really sincere?  People who express their 
opinion give the rest of us something to think about.  Today the owner of 
California Chrome- the Triple Crown contender who lost the Belmont Stakes- was 
apologizing for his remarks following the loss. Maybe he's right maybe it's not 
fair for horses who have not run in all three races to be able to run in the 
final race at Belmont.  Geez! Let's talk about it before you beat the guy up for 
saying what he thought. 
I have come to call all this "dumbing down the discourse".   

What does it take to be nice?

So I am at DD's getting a self serve refreshing iced coffee when I notice a lovely elderly couple enter with a nurses' aide. She brings them coffee. I go to the counter to pay for mine and observe the food handler bringing cooked food to the cashier, saying " can you bring this to that elderly couple." They come in here everyday. The cashier who is a young girl rolls her eyes and says, " They have a nurses aide .Let her pick it up!" Now there was no one else on line. There was no morning rush. What would it have taken for that young cashier to deliver their food to the table? The food handler had it right! But
really! I will admit that as I paid for my iced coffee I remarked to the young cashier, "You ll be old one day too."  My iced coffee tasted better after that.

I am writing you regarding this country’s relationship (or lack thereof) with Cuba. I had the opportunity to visit there recently as I have always been curious about this Caribbean island so close to our shores.

What is clear to me now is what a mistake our continuing policy of embargo against Cuba is. Now that we have a relationship with the Soviet Union, we are still punishing Cuba? Is it in our best interests to allow Cuba to offer oil drilling rights to the Chinese a mere 90 miles away from us?

 Yes perhaps the Cuban Americans in Miami are an important constituency but a failed policy remains a failed policy nonetheless. I am aware that there has been movement in the direction of helping the people of Cuba, but what is the plan for improving our relations with this crucial neighbor?

 

Look in the Mirror

I did find someone to send this letter to-Dr. Robert Reich whose writings on economic policy are actually understandable! I emailed him and he got right back to me!

Dear Mr Reich:

   I am writing you because I am aware of a couple of things that I am hopeful you will be able to articulate better than I.  Before I discuss these things I want to say I have read your books and want to personally thank you for making complex economic issues clear for us regular folk. One of my greatest frustrations is that economics are placed front and center as issues : personal,political,global but the snippets  the public are given are obtuse,too complex and overwhelming to even pay attention to.  So most Americans are held hostage to the sound bite of the moment.  I wish you had your own TV show to educate us all.
    But that not's the primary reason I am writing you. I am writing because first of all I know that most people want to be part of the solution not just part of the problem.  The political battles over the US budget are seemingly out of the hands of us little people.  But the second thing I have come to realize is being part of the solution is not easy in this regard. What can the " man on the street" do? My "light bulb " came on last year when in the company of my 80 plus year old aunt. I watched her refuse to use a "self check out" at a local food store.  She stated with fire in her eyes, "I am not putting anybody out of work!"
   So you are thinking  "Why write me?"  I am writing you because as champion of the middle class I think you are in a position to elucidate what the little guy can do.  As you know people complain about the lack of jobs and the gluttony of the rich. However all us "little people" have been unknowing but active participants in this problem.  How? We accept self serve for example. Everywhere!  Check out.  Automated phone lines. Self serve gas.  On line shopping. Fill out your own health history  at the doctor! Pay your bills on line!  Do we receive  the "profit"  these companies  make from our "labor?" No way!  We have been duped that these  efficiencies come back to us in lower costs. I don't know about you but I haven't seen prices.  But if you think about it we( the big We ) don't have to participate if we stop and realize what we are doing. We have already exported too many jobs.  Why join in eliminating  what's still he in this country?
     You are a public figure. You speak to and for the middle class, please use your ability to begin this conversation about what WE can do to save jobs and reinvent the economy.  Thanks for your attention . I know you are busy but I also know you get it.

Regards,

What s up with the litter?

I walk a lot these days as retiring has given me the time and aging has given me the incentive. And when you walk you notice things. What I notice is litter and discarded things everywhere.  What s up with that?

The town municipal park where I walk most frequently is populated by ball fields and play grounds. Days after sporting events the grounds are littered with water bottles and food wrappers.  I did write a letter to town authorities suggesting that a field clean up be part of the responsibility of the adult coaches. I received a nice return letter stating they would follow up. That was last year. The grounds continue to be full of litter .  Where are the adults? Where are the parents who come to watch the games?  Maybe the parents and coaches litter too! This is what we have come to. I think I'll write another letter. And least for this small patch of earth I know who is responsible. But look around-litter is everywhere.   There are litter laws on the books! Another waste of paper and ink!

It can' t be just the guns

 

This daily mass shooting has this country standing on its head. Everyone laments what is going on? The anti gun folks call for stricter gun control. Others have decided this is sheer lunacy and want the mental health system straightened out. Media outlets stopped naming the shooters thinking that the cause was a need for glory. Bullying gets talked about a lot. I m sure if I spent time researching this topic there would be a lot more theories.

I don't know what's going on. Like everyone else I think about it a lot and my heartbreaks for the loss of so many innocent men,women and children. Of course we don't talk about the fact that this random death by gun violence has been happening in our ghettos and poorer cities for decades. Another topic for another day.  What I keep thinking about is the underlying anger, the rage that must accompany these acts so many happening at the hands of young people. Young people are useless now did you know that? The foundation of  American consumerism perhaps. But otherwise? Oh yes they do community service projects so they can get into a good college. But no one really needs them .

I read a great book once when my daughter was little called "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-indulgent world". I loved it. I believed and still do believe that the advice was correct. The basic idea was to give children every opportunity to develop multiple skills, initiative and problem solving steps.  But even then I couldn't do it. There were few things left over to let my daughter do. We live in an age of convenience. My husband and I worked full time and my husband held down a second job to make ends meet. Chronically exhausted I relied on conveniences to survive which left little for me to do and not much for my daughter to do.  So there I've confessed. But having done that I can say with certainty that my daughter will not turn out to be a mass murderer .  I also recognize that the parents of those mass murderers didn't think that's how their kid would turn out either.  

I guess the answer is elusive. It probably is not one or even two things- instead it's a human "perfect storm." It's not going to be predictable or easily recognized except in retrospect. What is scary is that we might come to think we can predict who will become a mass murderer. Like a decade or more ago  when researchers suggested that children " at risk" for developing a major mental illness be medicated prophylactically

with anti psychotic medication.  Stay tuned for a similar response to kids "at risk" for becoming mass murderers!

Modeling Disrespect

I would like to think I am not the only one appalled by the lack of respect young people show adults including their parents.  Kids start talking back as soon as they can talk. No correction is made. I am not talking about corporal punishment although I may be in the midst of changing my mind on that as well. I am talking about parents exerting their parental authority.   The kind that says "NO because I'm the Mommy (or Daddy) that's why!"

I've come to think that respect is a foundation of a civilized society. Without it, what remains is a slippery slope to chaos and wide spread aggression.

How many times my friends and I have witnessed rude or disrespectful behavior and we all say the same thing: we wouldn't even THINK of saying that! I think any of you over 60 and reading this blog know exactly what I mean.

A very wise friend of mine pointed out one day what possibly might be a large contributing factor to this decline in respect.   Have you noticed when you watch TV that the children in the TV series are either in charge or at least allowed to talk back, disrespect and generally poke fun at their stupid, bumbling,barely making it parents?

It is the norm now not the exception. What really has me ranting is a recent commercial for V8 juice that depicts a 3-4 year old little blonde girl in a stroller smacking her Mommy on the forehead to illustrate the signature. "Smack! I coulda had a V 8" that has become so familiar to us over the years!  But really? It's okay for a little kid to hit their mother? It makes me sputter!  It's like all the adults have left the building!

I imagine that where ever this writing- for- TV took place when this trend started it must have been a large room with a bunch of perpetual adolescents gathered around throwing out ideas .  Dissing the parents back then probably met with a lot of nervous laughter initially .  Laughter that was mistaken for a sign that it was actually funny. Any adult involved may have decided that TV ratings were worth whatever it took to get that laughter. Then the adult left the room and has yet to return.

So parents,teachers, authority figures of any type are fair game for disrespect, derision

and now even aggression.  I' m not sure how this can be turned around. I think the "radical right" might have this issue on its agenda somewhere but it gets missed by the

craziness of the politics.  I should think schools might be trying to teach respect. I am not sure it's working. If teachers try to exert their authority and demand respect, the parents get involved. Parents complain about the teachers. It seems these parents  don't respect authority either. 

What a mess!

Bring back the Draft!

BRINGING BACK THE DRAFT

Memorial Day 2014 just passed and America did its best to remember our fallen soldiers.  Young people went to the beach or stayed glued to video games or Facebook.  In many communities, veterans are few and far between.  So many wars fought on foreign soil about things many couldn't understand.  How is it that the longest war for America has been fought on the back of so few?

Having protested the war in Vietnam with thousands of other Americans I cannot believe that I am going to say what I am going to say.  This country needs to bring back the draft. Everyone in this country needs to be affected by wars present and future, not just the few.  Would the war in Afghanistan have happened? Would it have gone on so long if all families had to worry about their son or daughter being sent into harm’s way?  Would we have paused before we rushed into Iraq to find that there were no WMD's?  Yes 9/11 needed a response! We might all have agreed on that. But would our response been more considered knowing that all of us were being called upon to make personal sacrifices?

A friend of mine, an ex-Marine, a current military operative of some kind( inquiries meet with "If I tell you I 'll have to kill you") repeats when asked anything about what is going on" It's about the oil".    So why weren't we asked to

join in the response to 9/11 by limiting our energy consumption?  Let's not even talk about global warming! (That's another blog)

War has to be everyone's business. It can't be" out of sight and out of mind "and someone else's burden.  The public discourse would change if we all were involved. Many of you who are reading this will be like me. I don't personally know anyone who has served or is serving in this war. I don't know anyone who even knows anyone. And no I am not socially isolated or confined to a psychiatric hospital.  I have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. 

Isn't it interesting that at the beginning of this war not one member of Congress had a child who was called to serve.  Since that time Senator John McCain's sons have served as well as the children of a few (very few) others. Not enough of them, not enough of us to ensure that decisions to get us into war and keep us there are made with the consent and understanding of all of us.

Retired with time to rant

Rantings over 60

The idea for this blog began with the daily frustration of encountering issues that on the face of it have no clear people, authority or place to refer them to.  Some issues are specific, like Verizon's unreadable phone bills. And yes I did complain to the FCC who in turn referred my complaint back to Verizon. This was over a year ago when I was assured that Verizon was changing their bills. Yes you can guess that as of today the bills remain undecipherable. Other issues are murky, much more troubling like the recurring mass shootings .

I tell my friends,” I’m going to write a letter, but I don't know who to send it to!"

So this blog represents my outbox- a collection of observations, complaints and musings that my 1960's experiences demand that I DO something. So I am blogging!

So I can tell you that I am too old for niceties and political correctness. I have lived through too many decades to suffer fools gladly. As a product of the sixties I do not accept the apathy and victim mentality seen so frequently and that is epidemic among our young people.

Do I have a lot to say about a lot of things? You betcha!