Trial in the Public Square

Okay this blog is gonna get me in trouble but I have to write it anyway. Right now the air waves are full of talking heads carrying on about NFL player Ray Rice. TMZ released a video of rice assaulting his wife in an elevator in an Atlantic City casino earlier this year.

I am not here to defend Ray Rice. Knocking his then fiancé ,now his wife out cold. He was arrested and charged. A grand jury was involved and his punishment was to attend a diversion program.  He was suspended for two games by the NFL.

Then the video emerged. All of a sudden Ray Rice was fired and suspended indefinitely from the NFL.  No one is complaining about this. The "carrying on" is about "when" did the NFL see the video. 

It feels like we've reverted to the times of the Salem witch trials.  Since when did the public get to order a witch hunt and public hanging? Justice belongs in the hands of the justice system. Why take away this guy' s livelihood?  You are in effect taking away his life.  Yes what he did is reprehensible .   But take away his contract and his means of supporting his family? Really?  I don't get it.  The public is demanding justice. So the NFL reacts. Who made them part of our justice system? The Baltimore Ravens reacts.  Who made them part of our justice system?  Is no one willing to say, "look he was arrested and justice was meted out.  It was his first offense. Let ' s see what happens."

Yes I hear everyone gasping and jumping up and down about this. But this knee jerk response to perceived public outrage can be a slippery slope. What behavior is next?

Helpless

 

I watch with horror as the events in Ferguson, Missouri unfold.  I will not pretend I know exactly what happened but I know as sure as I am a white middle class woman from the East that a white youngster jay walking or being a smart mouth would not have been shot dead. And if you differ I want to hear the details of those incidents that parallel the deaths of so many young black men in this country.

How many times can this happen in this country before we find a solution. I feel helpless. I like to take action . To DO something. But for the life of me I can't think what.

I live in New Jersey and can tell you that the standing comment as we drive on major highways like the NJ Turnpike or Garden State Parkway and see cops pulling someone over is," Oops driving while Black."  Years ago a study came out citing that the police in New Jersey were profiling. ya think! It continues.

I wonder if we need to look at what prompts someone to become a policeman. Is it a need for power and control? Is it suppressed rage? I don't know but I wonder if there is an intersect between the psychology of who chooses that career and their behavior on the job.

I worked in psychiatry for years. Patients sometimes got upset and were unpredictable. We didn't have guns.  We "talked" people down. Maybe police offers need to lose their guns and figure out how to deal with people in other ways.

I guess we are still giving lip service to community policing. To knowing the community you serve in intimate ways. And now thanks to " political correctness" it is harder to really know what a police officer may "really think" while patrolling a community like Ferguson Missouri.    

 I don't mean to disparage an entire group of police officers as most do a difficult and dangerous job remarkably well. We need a well trained group of law enforcement professionals to keep society running smoothly, and in fact to protect the store owners in Ferguson from a small group of looters doing damage to an already raw community. 

Answers have to come. In the meantime those of us who don't know what to do to help

 can do what we can to promote understanding and dialogue and opportunity in the communities where we live.

iPhone Parenting

 

 

Okay so what I am about to  talk about is probably no surprise to anyone. But a rant is in order.  Parents with children of all ages absorbed in their IPhones or IPads . I was in a restaurant enjoying a peaceful lunch when my attention was caught by the squealing and banging of a toddler. He was in a high chair and wanted more than something to eat to have his mother 's attention. His mother was absorbed on her IPad and responded by handing him a variety of different toys. The toys piqued his curiosity for a minute and then he would squeal and bang the toy on the table while staring intently at his mother. She never looked up. Her response was to reach into the diaper bag and produce another toy.  What's the message this young child is receiving?  You' re not important! I have better things to do! He finally reached the end of his frustration tolerance and began crying. To her credit(I guess) she shut the IPad and began shoveling his untouched food into his mouth. She wasn't happy and he wasn't happy.

 

Parents and other caregivers pushing strollers have been observed texting or talking away.  No chatter or singing, no interacting, no notice if the sun is in the kid's eyes or whether the child has fallen uncomfortably to the bottom of the stroller.

 

I especially like observing families out to dinner together.  The children of all ages are given some electronic device or another while the parent's text and check their IPhones.

Really? What happened to "quality time". ( not that I believe in such a thing).  Tons of research  underscores the importance of family time. Time when parents and children talk to each other, when problems are discussed , moods are assessed , plans and announcements are made.

 

So I'm really curious about how these children turn out .

 

What is political correctness supposed to do?

I don't even know how to approach this topic!  Not a day passes where you don 't 
hear a public someone apologizing for something they said that upset some group 
somewhere. Geez!
So our collective freedom of speech is under major attack. Why? Does demanding 
that folks in the public eye make sure they say the "right" thing help us 
understand them better or feel better about who they are?  People have opinions 
about other people. Always have and always will. Isn't it better to encourage 
discourse rather than repress it?   Do we really think that "political 
correctness" fixes what's underneath? I don't know about you but  I want to know 
what people really think.  And they have a right to their own opinion. That 
doesn't mean that you don't think before you speak. You don't call people names.  
You follow the rules and etiquette of public and private discourse.  
Beyond that, people are entitled to have opinions and to express them. The 
demands for public apologies are starting to feel like a page out of Puritan New 
England!   And are on-demand apologies really sincere?  People who express their 
opinion give the rest of us something to think about.  Today the owner of 
California Chrome- the Triple Crown contender who lost the Belmont Stakes- was 
apologizing for his remarks following the loss. Maybe he's right maybe it's not 
fair for horses who have not run in all three races to be able to run in the 
final race at Belmont.  Geez! Let's talk about it before you beat the guy up for 
saying what he thought. 
I have come to call all this "dumbing down the discourse".   

What does it take to be nice?

So I am at DD's getting a self serve refreshing iced coffee when I notice a lovely elderly couple enter with a nurses' aide. She brings them coffee. I go to the counter to pay for mine and observe the food handler bringing cooked food to the cashier, saying " can you bring this to that elderly couple." They come in here everyday. The cashier who is a young girl rolls her eyes and says, " They have a nurses aide .Let her pick it up!" Now there was no one else on line. There was no morning rush. What would it have taken for that young cashier to deliver their food to the table? The food handler had it right! But
really! I will admit that as I paid for my iced coffee I remarked to the young cashier, "You ll be old one day too."  My iced coffee tasted better after that.

I am writing you regarding this country’s relationship (or lack thereof) with Cuba. I had the opportunity to visit there recently as I have always been curious about this Caribbean island so close to our shores.

What is clear to me now is what a mistake our continuing policy of embargo against Cuba is. Now that we have a relationship with the Soviet Union, we are still punishing Cuba? Is it in our best interests to allow Cuba to offer oil drilling rights to the Chinese a mere 90 miles away from us?

 Yes perhaps the Cuban Americans in Miami are an important constituency but a failed policy remains a failed policy nonetheless. I am aware that there has been movement in the direction of helping the people of Cuba, but what is the plan for improving our relations with this crucial neighbor?

 

Look in the Mirror

I did find someone to send this letter to-Dr. Robert Reich whose writings on economic policy are actually understandable! I emailed him and he got right back to me!

Dear Mr Reich:

   I am writing you because I am aware of a couple of things that I am hopeful you will be able to articulate better than I.  Before I discuss these things I want to say I have read your books and want to personally thank you for making complex economic issues clear for us regular folk. One of my greatest frustrations is that economics are placed front and center as issues : personal,political,global but the snippets  the public are given are obtuse,too complex and overwhelming to even pay attention to.  So most Americans are held hostage to the sound bite of the moment.  I wish you had your own TV show to educate us all.
    But that not's the primary reason I am writing you. I am writing because first of all I know that most people want to be part of the solution not just part of the problem.  The political battles over the US budget are seemingly out of the hands of us little people.  But the second thing I have come to realize is being part of the solution is not easy in this regard. What can the " man on the street" do? My "light bulb " came on last year when in the company of my 80 plus year old aunt. I watched her refuse to use a "self check out" at a local food store.  She stated with fire in her eyes, "I am not putting anybody out of work!"
   So you are thinking  "Why write me?"  I am writing you because as champion of the middle class I think you are in a position to elucidate what the little guy can do.  As you know people complain about the lack of jobs and the gluttony of the rich. However all us "little people" have been unknowing but active participants in this problem.  How? We accept self serve for example. Everywhere!  Check out.  Automated phone lines. Self serve gas.  On line shopping. Fill out your own health history  at the doctor! Pay your bills on line!  Do we receive  the "profit"  these companies  make from our "labor?" No way!  We have been duped that these  efficiencies come back to us in lower costs. I don't know about you but I haven't seen prices.  But if you think about it we( the big We ) don't have to participate if we stop and realize what we are doing. We have already exported too many jobs.  Why join in eliminating  what's still he in this country?
     You are a public figure. You speak to and for the middle class, please use your ability to begin this conversation about what WE can do to save jobs and reinvent the economy.  Thanks for your attention . I know you are busy but I also know you get it.

Regards,